Kilmo Rants

‘Big Nasty Pointy Teeth’

Where’s the evil?


Christopher Columbus is a celebrated national figure in America even though he was a slave trading genocidal empire builder. Papa Stalin though he’s an evil man….and I don’t like Stalin much either; I expect the body counts about the same though. It’s one of those words we like to bandy around that sounds suspiciously like a cop out about something we refuse to understand. It’s a lot easier to say so and so’s evil than accept that humans, particularly the more sick individuals, are capable of brutal, nasty, unpleasant things. I’ve said it before; we forget we’re animals – animals with brains but animals none the less. There’s no good and evil in nature. Maybe you think the Church is ‘good’ and take your guidance from that? The Church has been responsible for some of the most brutal slaughters in history while it harps on about a god which most societies have, but who seems to wear a different face in each. The Church is an organ of the state, the moral majority’s fist in a glove. The institution might have improved but it’s wise not to forget it’s past. Same thing goes for the monarchy. These are organisations that control and exploit often under cover of what’s ‘good’ in us. But what was in us was already good, so why do we need them telling us that, or what to do with it? So, when we start banging on about evil I tend to think what is ‘evil’? You mean Satan possessed Stalin and told him to deport everyone to Siberia where they could die horrible nasty deaths? It seems to me Stalin was unable to see humans as what they are, as in there was something missing in him that didn’t allow him to see the rest of humanity as human beings. Often the people who we like to describe as evil don’t have the empathy for other humans the rest of us have. Maybe it’s just pure arrogance, or maybe it’s something else – like thinking they’re something different, above, everyone else.
It’s not that I don’t believe in bad things happening, that’s ridiculous the world’s full of calamity and heartbreak, but a lot a lot of good stuff too. What I really disagree with is the notion of evil. Who’s deciding this stuff? People with my best interests at heart? You think I particularly want an organisation with a well-known history of sheltering and protecting paedophiles to decide what’s right and wrong for me? Or a society where someone like Maggie Thatcher is held up as the saviour of a nation? Maybe a better way of putting it is to watch how it all works. If you ask me the painters, gardeners, brickie’s, musicians, artists, performers and artisans they’re the ones more likely to be good. It’s in how they earn their daily bread. They’re still capable of bad behaviour – who isn’t? But then society doesn’t hold them up as the ideal does it? It doesn’t say ‘that’s how you should behave’. What it says, or at least what we’re encouraged to be believe, is that that bloke/woman earning 100K a year – that’s the hero/ine. The winner is the man/woman with the money. What they’ve done to get that money well…. let’s brush that under the carpet ey. They’re rich, they’re a success. They might have sold baby milk to starving African mothers, or torture gear to Saudi Arabia, exploited tribes in Nigeria for their oil, but they’re the winners in this society. They’re the ‘good’ ones. Can you see why I have a problem with what we’re told is ‘evil’ now? Before I stop my rant, its worth pointing out that I’m not saying they are evil as such. That’s the whole thing. They’re just humans, trying to feed their families, trying to support themselves and their kids, co-operating with the group they’re in. Evil….I don’t like the term.

Pills and Thrills

What does it say about life when the cannabis shops that recently opened in Canada sell out in two days? There was abound to be a rush as people got worked up over legalised pot but you’d think the shop owners would have planned for that. They were bound to have got in extra to deal with the initial excitement no? But the queues stretched round the block and soon the shelves were bare…Makes you think doesn’t it? And its not just the shops. The communities were the product is grown are finding business is booming. So if everyone is desperate to get high doesn’t that suggest a few things about modern life? Maybe modern society. My doctor just prescribed me some more anti anxiety chill pills (I now have two different types) so may be I’m biased. But the sight of people who look like your Dad buying pot suggests something might not be all that great in the wonderful world of bullshit we get fed. You know along the lines of – play the game, work hard, study hard, get the loan/mortgage/colour TV and you’ll be fine. Maybe they’ve been faking it till they make it all along? Dad’s just as stressed as I am. Jesus…all along I was fooled, secretly he wants to get out of his mind on drugs to cope with the pressure. He’s just better at disguising it. (It’s a fictional theoretical Dad I’m describing here….mine wears a robe on special occasions and goes to church twice a day.) Funny though isn’t it? We’re told all along by society drugs are bad, don’t do drugs – they’re evil….then the minute they’re legalised there’s a huge gold rush to buy up as much drugs as can be found.


Axes to Grind

I’ve had this on and off my mind for ages. Life’s like a shouting match isn’t it? Who shouts loudest wins. When I say wins maybe ‘gets what they want’ is a better way of putting it because as far as I’m concerned I’m not really in a competition with anybody. That’s part of the many reasons for being a writer. But the bloke/woman with the best clothes, flashiest car, most money etc is shouting right? See that gold watch on their wrist? That’s a statement that some deserve, some don’t, but either way it’s saying something. Part of the difficulty for creatives is that for a long time our shout is a feeble mutant thing that’s too warped and sick to be of much interest to anyone but yourself. Basically we don’t get paid for it until we’re very good. I’m not saying I’m there…you can tell because I just had pasta with errr pasta and errr pasta for lunch (plus herbs and olive oil mind you). Anyway, I’m well used to poverty. I’ve been poor most of my adult life (in fact you could say all of it depending on your definition). The thing is the man you don’t see because he’s not stood at the bar still has a voice; it’s just one you aren’t going to hear much. The woman in her flat struggling to bring up a kid on her own has a voice too, but I doubt you’ll hear it either. There are a hell of a lot of people like that we don’t see. It makes me wonder what it’s like for those in loads of debt too. In the end if you can handle being locked out of the world for long enough to learn to shout so well they can’t not hear you might be listened to. That’s if you’re a creative; or you can get a real job!


The Lies We Tell

I can easily wrap my head around humans having an inbuilt need to believe in a god that doesn’t exist. Back when we were slinging mud and rocks at each other (some things don’t change much ey) it must have been one of the few things that made life bearable. That life being the nasty, short, existence which saw most women die in childbirth btw. Imagine that – watching woman after woman that you love producing your kids and then dying because of it. But you have to have children, they’re the thing that’s going to look after you in old age, and secure your line. So there we are, it must have looked pretty attractive having lots of weird mythological beasties, gods, saints, and demigods. I’m using my catchment for ‘religion’ pretty broadly here, from ancient Celtic beliefs to more modern Christian ones. But to me (I’m an atheist) it’s all fiction. Sometimes brilliant fiction, sometimes rubbish, but definitely all fiction. I’d be prepared to give ground on the idea of aliens with godlike powers but a God with us as the apple of his/her eye? No way.

So maybe as we evolve and mature and we need this sort of quasi science less and less we’ll be more honest about our fiction. Our computer games, art, and literature will take the place of complicated multifaceted religious beliefs. We’d basically substitute entertainment for our dying religions. The church of xenomorph could finally exist…in a VR sense hopefully. We’d worship the creations in our films and bow down before the great god of production.

All Hail Discordia!


First World Problems

I was talking to one of my old friends from site yesterday (site= Traveller park up/squat with vehicle access etc.) He tell me he’s really into old Communist stuff these days and he’s been travelling all over Eastern Europe checking the place out. Latvia, Estonia, Albania to name a few of the countries he’s visited. In one of the Baltic states apparently there are still buildings missing that were bombed into rubble. It makes you think doesn’t it? The problems we have in the West are still real but I doubt they’re as stark as the ones you get elsewhere. You see what I mean? They have the sort of problems that equal not eating that night, or freezing to death come winter. If you’re proud of yourself for being a good friendly human being despite the crap you have to put up with imagine what it takes to pull that stunt off in a former Soviet era housing estate. It’s something I think about off and on quite a lot. British people have lived cushioned by the welfare state for a while now. I don’t want to see people have to face the sort of hardship that folks in the former Eastern block or developing countries do. But First World Problems is what we dealing with over here. ‘I’ve lost my job – shall I sign on?’, ‘I’ve got no food what shall I do?’ – well there’s the supermarket skips overflowing with the excess we don’t consume, or any number of food banks. You see what I mean? We deal with debt problems, they deal with starvation problems. What do you do if you injure yourself and you’re in a third world country? You better have some decent friends and neighbours or you have big problems. We think we’re so tough because we deal with our poverty. Well there’s millions who have it tougher on a daily basis. Not that I’m trying to take away anyone’s self respect; there’s enough people who’ll try to do that. It’s just balance what we have to deal with what a lot of foreigners have to put up with I suppose. I think the sad thing is we take it all foregranted. We were born with these things and like you do when you’ve had something from birth you don’t realise what it is or what it took to put it in place. I have my problems with the welfare state. But its tricky, if you were to pull that carpet out from under people it would cause a lot of suffering. Maybe the universal wage like they’re beginning to implement in Finland is the way to go. The greens are into it in Germany as well and its an exciting idea for sure.  But what I’m saying is I’m glad I have First World Problems and not the other sort.


The Almighty Word

I’d like to think poetry changes the world. I really would. In fact I think I’d like to live in a world where it does. But maybe the question we need to ask isn’t whether the written word/art/music change things as how much they do? For sure an idea can change our experience of reality, look at Christianity, look at Communism. But the ideas are already in people’s heads, or at least the seeds of them are. Poetry is just an expression  of some of what’s in mine (you don’t want to know everything trust me on this). But below all the usual chatter that flows through our stream of consciousness there are ideas worth expressing, thoughts, and feelings too. You know those moments you have on the bus? On the train? On a long drive home? Some of them deserve to be given life.

We have short attention spans for much that doesn’t immediately excite us, and they’re getting shorter if we believe the hype. That’s where poetry comes in. It fills the gap. It’s short; it’s sweet. It (hopefully) gets to the point. We can read poetry quickly and easily and get the gist of what the poet is trying to say, or at least help formulate things in our own heads. In those terms poetry can change politics. It can influence the opinions of the people trying to alter the way we are ruled. Maybe its easier to express what I’m trying to say by providing an example – what would you prefer to do, read a poem, or read a speech by a politician? I’m not saying its perfect. Poetry isn’t going to tell you everything, but if nothing else people are more prepared to read it than a twenty page annoted rant about the ills of the world. We’ve heard it all before, we’re tired, we’ve got bills to pay, mouths to feed, work to get on with, no matter how interesting the writing. We want to be gripped and poetry can do that. But it can’t take us all the way, and it can’t argue with a coppers baton can it?


Green Abuse

Why do so many people think when they’re offered something from a company that’s worked out a green/alternative product that its dodgy? Offer some of us the eco rainsaving ethical bathroom grouting and they’ll immediately go ‘oh that’s got to be dodgy’. I don’t get it, offer the same person the Maggie Thatcher/Blair/Trump global megadeath product tand they’ll immediately buy it…all. Global mega death’s bankable right? It’s a solid investment. I don’t know – we so often seem to choose the bad option and I’ve a suspicion why. Option ‘a’ is going to be more expensive and it might not give you as much bang for your buck. Times have changed its true and the option ‘a’s’ out there are far better than they used to be, but that aura of total crapnmess lingers like a badly knitted sweater.

But that’s only part of the problem. What really gets to me is when the people whose side I hope I’m on start up with the propoganda. I know people are fighting a war, or at least consider themselves to be doing so…and when my writing goes well I get the same feeling. But I write all sorts although there should be the same messages in there….I digress. The point is its the age old adage isnt it? ‘The end justifies the means’. Some think its ok to lie and decieve because it will get the job done. But when I get lied to by the (I dunno what you want to call em lefty liberals or anarchists) good’uns I feel betrayed and pissed off. I have got an example in mind but I’m not going to mention it because I wasn’t able to contact them. It really upsets me. I want to put some trust in the people I think are thinking along the same lines and I can’t – well I can , but only as far as it goes. I trust them in as much as we want the same things (broadly). No propoganda and its many devious techniques pisses me off.

I’m not going to lie (if I do it’s most likely unintentionally) to you to make you believe my point except in humour. I am biased and I do have an axe to grind – like every geezer you ever met down the pub. The problem is I have a conscience…it’s the thing that made me just get out of bed to rewrite this. I hate my conscience.



I was lying on a hillside looking up at the night sky when I thought of this one although I sound dangerously like my old man, and its not the first time I’ve thought it. A lot of people think freedom is freedom from responsibilies, right? They think that anyone considering the subject wants to be a child and have no things that they have/need to do. Of course it doesn’t, (I’m forty one btw) but try telling that to your Mum for example. What it does mean is the freedom to make your own choices; we all have that I suppose but there is such a thing as two bad choices. I keep thinking of the sample: ‘Six million ways to die choose one.’ It’s the same principle.

Anyway, thought I’d drop that in the mix in case anyone thought I was turning into a hippy.



Kill Sir

So, I’ve been thinking a bit about what having a strong system of control and hierarchy in a community does to it. Maybe I’m pussying out – it’s Aldershot (where I live) that’s got me thinking about the subject again. But it doesn’t have to be a military town; it could be anywhere. A town where a prison is the main employer for example, or one of those company owned towns they used to have in America would have the same symptoms I’m going to describe. I think they do still have closed towns in the USA; there’s government owned hidden towns in Russia as well isn’t there? But that’s more extreme than this small market community. Aldershot was built as a base for the British military and whilst the armed forces are not as big as they once were I’ve been wondering how much of the attitude that flows from the forces still remains in peoples heads.

Anyway, I’m going off on a tangent. the point that keeps rearing up in my head is if people are raised in a society where there’s always an authority figure telling them what to do they are going to work around it. Any authority figure in possession of all the power and resources to cause you problems is going to be lied to, undermined, and redirected. It’s an understandable attitude if you ask me. I don’t enjoy someone making me do things I don’t want to do, and authority figures tend to put my back up. Not that I can’t cope with the situation we live in; I’m not two. But it strikes me as an unhealthy state of affairs to be always under the thumb and you start to wonder what effect that sort of system has. A community where there’s such a divide between the people in charge and who’ve been in charge all your life and the people who are disempowered. Surely those at the top are going to be able to get away with murder, no? Or maybe it’s not that they’re getting away with it as much as they haven’t got a clue what’s going on because the people who they rely on aren’t telling them anything but what they want them to hear. Why should they do otherwise? If you want to put yourself up there as god almighty you deserve to be knocked down. (a very English attitude btw.) I’d be careful when someone’s polite to your face whose been living under those sort of conditions for a long time.
– Kilmo

Posted on April 11, 2020 by Kilmo

So we’ve got the total surveillance culture. If you want a few sleepless nights have a look at what China’s doing to its Muslim community and think about it for a bit…not very nice. We’ve got ‘Fake News’. Somehow I still haven’t really worked out what that is. It seems like its a convenient term to denounce anything the subject of a report doesn’t like. Then there’s the endless ‘War Against Terrorism’ and now we have a new threat, Covid 19. All of this is stuff George Orwell saw coming in his fictional work 1984. Funny how good sci-fi can predict the future.
But I don’t really want to talk about that right now. I want to say something about desperation, about having no choice but bad choices and the moment when even those look like good ones and these are….as ever, desperate times. Step up the fanatic.
I imagine the Taliban is a bit like that. In a country where everything is falling apart like Afghanistan and corruption is King the bloke with a gun and a plan probably is the only way of putting food on the table. Add God into the mix and you’ve got a gold plated recruitment drive. Why do people think we can win a war like that? When we entered Afghanistan we didn’t just go to war with the Taliban. We went to war with the infrastructure (or lack thereof), the landscape, the kids, the poverty, the opium trade, the farmers…we probably went to war with the sheep too, but I haven’t asked.
Until the people of that country have options other than listening to the bloke with the gun who can blame them for keeping going back to him? After all when we’ve left the Taliban will still be there, probably living just down the road.
All the Answers?
Posted on April 7, 2020 by Kilmo

You must be joking.
So the Coronavirus while giving eighty percent of us mild symptoms that some don’t even notice at all does kill, right? Except the ones that seem to be most at risk are the elderly and sick. Ok, believe it or not I have family too. I would definitely prefer it if the older members don’t die a horrible death. Couldn’t we quarantine those most at risk from the virus until we have an anti-virus? What about care homes. We could make sure all the staff at them are tested and cleared before they’re allowed to work. That would be start.
I keep thinking of pensions. How long do they run if the investments they’re based on no longer function? Like the business have stopped?
The positive side of this is we’re being forced/given time to evolve and use networks outside of work and wages. Maybe that will show people that there is an alternative. Maybe there’s an opportunity there. I don’t know if it’s one we’ll take.
‘Six Million Ways to Die – Choose One’
Posted on April 6, 2020 by Kilmo

The Black Death (Europe circa 1347-1351)
Coronavirus – Now
This is what I don’t understand put simply: one of these plagues had a death rate of ninety to ninety five percent. The other plague kills around five percent and under of those infected depending on your age, and level of health. So why are we shutting the world down and closing borders? One plague is truly terrifying and I would be bulk buying toilet roll by the truck load if it showed its head anywhere near me….the other….well….the other is a bit lame by comparison. Fortunately, I get to say that because I don’t have to deal with the lines of corpses and chock a block hospitals that medical staff and volunteers do. But if you believe the data from China it doesn’t change the fact that this disease only kills a small of fraction of those it infects. Eighty percent only get mild symptoms so why use the sort of language to describe it that’s guaranteed to give everyone from Lands End to John ‘o’ Groats a heart attack just thinking about it?
Now my argument is this: nobody wants loads of the frail, elderly, and sick to die so the rest of the country needs to be functioning in order to support them. By shutting everything down it makes it more difficult for the healthy to support the weak. But that’s not all I want to say. We’re walking around a world where the offices are silent, factories have shut, and traffic stilled. There’s a part of me that likes that….except when this disease is under control the jaws of capitalism will clamp back down even harder. Imagine all the debts people will have rung up, the people who will lose their homes, business’, livelihoods… There are worse things than death. I wouldn’t want to be fifty and buried whilst I’m still breathing as my life implodes in a month or two of being confined. I keep thinking the ‘cure’ is worse than the virus, and why don’t they tell us who’s really going to be paying for this? How many generations will be footing the bill for Boris and his chums to save us all? I get the feeling it’s the other way round. It will be us saving him and I don’t like it very much.
I’ll probably get the bloody thing myself now.

Trying and Failing

Posted on April 18, 2020

‘The Covid-19 pause has shown what dramatic action is possible when global governments, media corporations and populations together agree to take the action necessary to protect the vulnerable 1 per cent of the population, threatened by the virus.’
Taken from the article: ‘There’s no turning back from this – our new green future starts now.’
Donnachadh McCarthy 18/4/20
I can’t keep my mouth shut any more and I’m going to get roasted for it if people read this. But I think what we’re doing is retarded. I’m not some right wing nut job or fascist in disguise. I live in a city centre and I have to walk around a place that has been brought grinding to a halt. You want a visual representation of what this lockdown is doing to the world? That’s it. Huge building projects, stopped. Vast office blocks, stopped. Industrial estates closed, and venues empty. I can’t really imagine what that means in terms of money, manpower, opportunities, social network building, emotional, and mental health. I dread to think about it and this is to save one percent of our population who – old or infirm in some way will die once infected with the Coronavirus. Maybe I am an uncaring arsehole then. Maybe I’ve got it wrong and the imperfect human being I thought I was is really a bastard (I can be one). But this is ridiculous. Like everyone else I have family, and friends, and they have family I wouldn’t want to see hurt and that’s surely it isn’t it? Because they will be hurt. everyone will be hurt….hugely….by this lockdown.
We aren’t going to stop the virus until we’ve developed a vaccine. To develop a vaccine society needs to function to supply the money, equipment, human resources and such like to do the necessary work. I can’t get my head a round our current situation at all. How many lives ruined, ops postponed, children uneducated, because we’ve all got a Jesus complex? We can’t save everyone. People are and have been dying. Maybe I will die….who knows….I’d deserve it for thinking the way I do.
I hope out of this disaster we pull something good together. Except while we could be taking advantage of it we can’t because human contact is exactly what we’re not supposed to do. It is Orwellian; it really is. The terrifying invisible disease that keeps us isolated and afraid while the powers that be rule the world. What are they doing? What are they really doing while we’re all locked up terrified in our flats? But here I start descending into paranoid conspiracy fantasies so I’ll stop. But yeah, we’re doing this damage to ourselves for a tiny tiny minority and I think we’re being daft.

A glimpse of the darkside.

Posted on May 21, 2020

The trains run on time but there’s no people on them, sounding familiar? Queues everywhere, little mini Nazi’s exerting their authority directing you? This is not an anti lockdown post. This is an observation on what it feels like in Bristol at the moment. It seems like the invisible disease has allowed every jobsworth proto fascist to have Christmas early….and then of course there’s the sweet old dear with the lovely smile getting off a train. Agh, Coronavirus what has it done? As I attempted the deeply ingrained determined boarding of the train before it departs I nearly barged straight into an old lady with a wheelchair. What she was doing out in the current climate I don’t know but I imagine it was something essential. Probably it was something a lot more essential than my attempts to collect a product from the only DIY outlet of Screwfix that stocked it in the city. As I looked at her and clamped my mouth shut in an effort to not spread bacteria I really understood how little I want to be responsible for some sweet old dear’s death. But now Britain looks like some horrible trial run for a dictatorship. It’s enough to give you goosebumps, all that’s missing is a curfew. I hope they come up with a vaccine soon.

Tell-Tale Press


So today the slow wheels of me trying to get anything out for publication inevitably turned and I came across a website. On it a woman (I think it’s a woman it’s never entirely made clear) explains that she’s shutting her publishing company down. Apparently she compared the protests over the death of George Floyd after his neck was knelt on by a police person for eight minutes to the Star Wars rebellion.
I don’t get it.
The Star Wars rebels? Those were the good guys no? Except most of them were white….and fish shaped….and I don’t know a million other shapes/colours too. I’m on the side of the protestors I hope. I don’t like the sound of black people being murdered by the police during arrest at all. I also have a feeling that police people in America might just be a ever so slightly racist (sarcasm). But hounding a woman who helps people publish stories doesn’t seem right to me. I want to know about Nabu Carneville, and project Notebook, now I probably never will because she’s evidently decided that the only thing for her to do is shut down.
How to put this? I’m sure there are people on both sides of this protest with no tolerance, firmly convinced they own the moral high ground and that that gives them the right to roast anyone alive who might differ from their beliefs.
But I’m never comfortable with anyone being bullied. People have a right to their opinions stupid ones though they may be….or maybe they’re just different from yours because they’re different.
As far as my limited understanding of America goes black people have every right to be pissed off. But making a woman feel so bad for some stupid comment about Star Wars that she’s decided to shut down her publishing work? That’s not right either.

(Here’s the link if you want to check out what she’s written yourself:


I’ve never seen Britain’s cenotaph in person- the monument to our war dead up in London. But today I watched a video of it being boarded up against possible attack by Black Lives Matter protestors. A lot has been said about the BLM lot so I want to concentrate on the cenotaph itself. In fact in a lot of ways I feel more strongly about it.

‘The Glorious Dead’

That’s what’s chiseled in the side of that monolith and there’s something about that statement that makes me want to stick two fingers down my throat. It’s monstrous if you ask me. What is glorious about thousands of people dying? Without going into graphic detail I must be missing the point, but I’ve got a vivid imagination and it’s definitely not getting stuck on glorious as I think of lots of soldiers getting mowed down by machine guns. Maybe afterwards the rush of actually surviving would be a glorious feeling, in fact the adrenaline kick as you fought for your life must be something, but glorious? I wonder how many veterans can’t stand in front of those words. Certainly many would but I bet you there’s more than a few who wont. It’s like we can’t handle the reality of what our nation states did and instead construct some huge fantasy that mass slaughter is somehow a good thing….like day break….or an amazing view. It isn’t and it never will be. Less and less people want to join the military these days and they concentrate less on the patriotic angle to make folks join but still people believe in the old lie. Can you imagine what a modern industrial third world war would look like? How glorious do any of us really think that would be? In short I’m glad I’ve never seen the cenotaph in person at least I’ve kept my lunch where it’s supposed to be.

If we’re going to fight at least tell the truth about it, but then how many would do it?



Yep, that’s me and the sum total of friends I have that are black is one….possibly two at a pinch. So off to the Black Lives Matter protest in Bristol Uk for some education and solidarity. First impression? There’s a hell of a lot of white people here. In fact there’s way more white people than black. I mean no disrespect by that comment. It’s an observation. Fair play to so many for coming out in support of the black community. However I live in a tower block that’s nearly fifty percent black, where were they? I did see what looked like some of the older kids hanging around at the edges looking on, but I generally got the impression that the whites had come turned up to the protest while the black people who are my neighbours stayed at home. Why is that? Do they think we’ve robbed there movement? Do migrants feel to afraid to kick up a fuss? Maybe they think there’s no point and things will never change. I’d love to know the answer to the question.

Anyway….after plonking my big white arse down I began to listen to the speakers and some interesting points were made. One that if (like me) you have very few real black friends you’re perceptions of black people as a group are governed by what you see on the media. Not a comfortable thought as I’d always regarded myself as able to treat people as individuals despite that. But it made sense. I was reading a newspaper the other day and a friendly Sudanese youth asked me what the headlines were. I answered ‘War’. I was actually reading something about how the pubs were re opening but the lads facial features were the same as those we’ve seen countless times in popular media in association with conflict. I was ashamed of myself and I began to wonder how many other unconscious bias’ I possess. Because they’re right the narrative has been written by the colonial power.

Since before Roman times the same thing has been going on. A subjected people sold off into slavery are portrayed as ignorant savages as a sort of moral justification for their treatment. But although that makes me uncomfortable writing it what I find interesting is how long its been going on for and the fact that it’s still happens today. Will it ever change? I hope so and what will be the issues of tomorrow if we manage to successfully tackle what we need to today. Because things do change. I’m currently reading HP Lovecraft a famous old school horror writer from the last century. In one of his short stories he calls his cat ‘Nigger Man’. Can you believe it? But once I suppose that was relatively normal.

Maybe it would help if we Brits kept in mind our earliest ancestors. Bodies reconstructed from remains found in the Cheddar Gorge show that we had black skin…to be honest with you that made me laugh all day when I found that out.

Go on Black Lives Matter I wish you all the best.


I’ve got to let it out – I hate them. The annoying silent death that swoops around at MACH 50 on the pavements where I live, tearing up old grannies on walkers and Mum’s with kids. Is it like this everywhere? Are e scooters now taking over the world ala South Park? Does anybody else look at them and shudder as you imagine the mangled corpses that would be the result of a collision? I thought push bikes where bad enough….and yes I’m guilty of riding without a helmet. but there’s something far more menacing about the e scooter. Maybe it’s because they seem to use the pavements to zip around. I realize that there’s no choice, because god forbid someone’s insane enough to start driving one on the road like the bloke I saw the other day. Imagine an e scooter and an articulated truck. What sort of chance do you have if things go wrong? You’d be like a bug on a windshield….splat. Do e scooter riders have no imagination? I think they should be corralled somewhere like a big sport stadium. Then all the annoying bastards who use them can zoom around to their hearts content and crash into each other in mildly less bloody ways. E scooters…..brrrrrrr.


I’ve just read an article that explains the teacher who recently showed an image of the Prophet Muhammad to his class of year nine religious education pupils refuses to return to work over fears for his life. I don’t blame him . . .and . . . I . . . find . . . that . . . INFURIATING.

I’m not anti-migrant. (I lived and worked abroad for years myself.)

I’m not anti-Muslim. (People are entitled to believe in what they want.)

I do not think people are inferior based on the colour of their skin. (An idea that’s so ridiculous it doesn’t need me to say any more.)

What I am is very very definitely anti-religious dictatorship. The UK is not a theocracy. We are a democratic, industrialised, liberal, first-world country. This is not the dark ages and three million Muslims should not be enforcing their religious beliefs on the rest of the country. People fought and died in Europe for the rights we enjoy today. Things like: freedom of the press, the right to free speech, religious tolerance and diversity, and the right to be a non believer too. A struggle that Muslims didn’t play any part in. It drives me mad that there now exists’ things like: ‘Family Seating’. A euphemism for for segregating sexes in some establishments popular with Muslims. IN THE UK? IN 2021? Why are we allowing this? IT’S SICK. It’s like we’re being muzzled by some black-clad monks from the Spanish Inquisition. I don’t care that the current fanatics are migrant stock. The fact that hundreds of years of slow painful progress to where we are today is being destroyed on the altar of a minority’s religion is wrong goes way beyond any consideration of who’s been here longest.

I saw the footage of that little Yorkshire grammar school where the Prophet Muhammad’s image was displayed in a cartoon. Those kids must have been terrified when a huge crowd of Asian men in Shalwar Kameez’ turned up outside.

No borders.

No masters.

And no bloody religious nutter’s telling us all how to behave.



Posted on December 9, 2021 by Kilmo

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It sounds like the juries still out there on whether we could be classified as an apex predator. But, I would argue that we clearly are as we are a predator of so many of the worlds animals. We have the most lethal weapon ever produced by evolution on top of our spines: our brain. It is the ability to co-operate and make tools that has made us so successful, and so dangerous, and numerous. Other animals have teeth, claws, poison, and still our capacity to think trumps them all. But we are still animals. We are still omnivores. We still eat, fart, shit, and puke in much the same way as every other animal on the planet. And it’s interesting to see how we lose sight of that – veganism is a pretty good example if you ask me.

Only the human animal could have come up with something like veganism. Sharks don’t tie themselves in knots about whether fish have feelings and emotions, neither do wolves, and tigers, care about the welfare of the prey they kill. But we have invented a standpoint that deliberately bars us from a source of protein that is vital to our survival.

However, a lot of the arguments for veganism work for me. I’m sure it is healthier, and I can’t stand factory farming and what happens to the animals and workers it chews up. It seems pretty bloody awful for both of them. But it doesn’t change what we evolved to live on, or what our teeth were designed to eat.

(Maybe veganism is another step in our evolution? One driven by morality not necessity? Bizarre concept no?)

A lot of what leaves me cold about it is the anthropomorphizing of other species. Does anyone think a different animal would give a flying fuck about us? If they could eat us they would. I look in a bird’s eye and count my lucky stars I’m twenty times bigger than it. Nature is red in tooth and claw. It is survival of the fittest, and it is not nice. Other species don’t think like us, don’t act us (they act like them which is sometimes similar), and don’t share human morals.

The only apex predator out there that’s arrogant enough to deny itself part of it’s food source is us. Only we would look at something we biologically need to grow muscle tissue etc. and say: ‘No I’m having lentils and beans for tea’. It’s like transhumanism really is arriving. We augments ourselves with pacemakers and metal knees, turn our noses up at our food sources, and are beginning to produce children that are thinking machines (AI). Where does that leave us years in the future if we cut ourselves off from accepting ourselves as the animals we really are and bury it beneath gadgets, perfume, and the virtual realm? There are lessons to be learnt from the past even as we determinedly march into the new future, and we deny our bestiality at our peril.


Posted on February 25, 2022 by Kilmo

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This was going to be a post about the one percent, or Putin, or nuclear Armageddon, or the thousand and one other global problems we face (like telesales for example). But… well do you ever get the feeling we’re just making things worse? As we stomp through our lives ranting at the TV and having meltdowns about arseholes who can’t drive, or unfortunately are Dictators in possession of enough firepower to obliterate us all at a moments notice, it’s worth stepping back. Most of us are not in a position to change any of this. Winding ourselves up like a spring that’s about to snap doesn’t help. People that are under pressure tend not to show their good side. They’re on the defensive… or on the attack. They’ve got something to prove even if it is only that they’re stronger than you. Fukkit… I even caught myself sending some love out to the world this morning.

I feel better for it.



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